The bummer thing about most bondage gear—harnesses, leashes, and the like—is that it’s always black. Boring. I mean, sex play’s supposed to be fun, so why shouldn’t it look fun? Local queer designer Natalie Brilmyer—aka Gnat—makes vinyl cuffs, strap-on harnesses, and bras that are as colorful and sparkly as a carnival ride, and even more fun than that if you’re going to be, well, riding someone. Her website says: “Sexuality and kinkiness fuse with vibrant candy and toy plastic playthings to become the multidimensional bags, hats, and harnesses for those hyper individual, diverse, beautiful queer bodies!...

3404 N. Southport 773-348-7139 jenis.com Runner-Up Black Dog Gelato

Brandon Baltzley On Wednesday, I linked to Sarah Freeman’s account at Zagat of dinner at TMIP in Michigan City, Indiana, the farm-to-table-on-an-actual-farm restaurant started by Brandon Baltzley, the much–written–about chef best known in Chicago for some abortive stints at dying restaurants (Mado, Pensiero). Or for being written about so much, really (and in my own case, caught on video). Just a day later, TMIP ran into a major snag in the form of the big orange shutdown sticker from the local Health Department, which Baltzley posted on Instagram....

The shuttering of the Portage Theater last May left numerous orphans in its wake: Northwest Chicago Film Society, with its weekly schedule of offbeat Hollywood relics; the Massacre and Sci-Fi Spectacular, annual day-long marathons of horror and fantasy fare; and perhaps most importantly, the Silent Film Society of Chicago—whose founder, organist Dennis Wolkowicz (aka Jay Warren), had managed the Portage for owner Eddie Caranza. SFSC decamped to the Des Plaines Theatre last summer for its annual Silent Summer Film Festival, a real loss to Chicagoans....

Just before the artist Matt Freedman left New York for Boston in the fall of 2012 to undergo treatment for adenoid cystic carcinoma— a rare form of cancer that by the time it was diagnosed had spread from his tongue to his neck and lungs—his students and colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania presented him with a blank sketchbook. He resolved to record his thoughts and experiences, four pages a day, for the next seven weeks....

Courtesy of #HealthGoth Just do it. And by “it” I mean wear this shirt. If you’re eager to get in shape while blasting goth, industrial, and darkwave on your little white earbuds then electronic-music wiz and local party promoter Johnny Love is here to help. Love, the man behind nu-industrial outfit Deathface, just released a PDF of workout tips for fans of dark, menacing electronic music, which he calls the “#HealthGoth Fitness Bible....

On their terrific second album, Hurry Home (New West), New Orleans quintet Deslondes settle into a sweet spot at the nexus of various threads of southern sounds, building on the low-key charms of their eponymous 2015 debut. That means honky-tonk, R&B, rockabilly, swamp pop, and other rootsy variations commingle in a deliciously humid atmosphere crafted with producer Andrija Tokic, suggesting the Band if they had decamped to a Crescent City shotgun house rather than Big Pink....

Youths, take heed! Learn from my hard-won experience! Marrying an SAIC-educated artist will commit you to a life of restless grasping after gifts that have to meet advanced aesthetic criteria. Luckily, I’ve got (a) a wife who likes few things better than a well-designed bouquet and (b) a florist who designs bouquets exceptionally well. When I first started going to Barbara Bellamy at Ixia Flowers, I tried to coach her through my orders, telling her what I knew of my wife’s preferences....

John Sturdy Baathhaus Back in June Gossip Wolf reported that queer-friendly synth-poppers Baathhaus were working on their first music video—it’s for a massive trance-industrial number called “Cave Song.” Baathhaus founder and vocalist Dan Foley divulged some details about the video, including that it’s inspired by a classic horror film (Suspiria) and a gay soft-core movie (Pink Narcissus). Photos and short videos of the “Cave Song” shoot that the band posted to their Instagram and Vine accounts—including images of walls of flowers and a hell of a lot of glitter—clued me in to the fact that this would be a huge production....

Milwaukee MC Juiceboxxx turned me into a lifelong fan when I witnessed a particularly in-your-face performance of his back in 2008—at the beginning of the show he grabbed my head and shoved me toward the floor in an effort to propel himself into the air. Juiceboxxx approaches his rapping with a similarly freewheeling attitude, and his life-affirming party jams are simply exuberant. He performs at the Burlington tomorrow night with his backing band (aka the Thunder Zone Band), and to prepare for the show I’m spotlighting one of his tunes for today’s 12 O’Clock Track....

I didn’t have the language for it at the time, but the uptick in limpias de huevo after I had accidentally left the photo of a semi-nude male model up on the family computer sat with me like a intervention. “Calvin klein underwear model” was the Google search that had betrayed me while I was in the bathroom jerking off. When I returned, he was still there, thumbs hooked under his waistband, his body propped up against an assemblage of lumber....

On Sunday, January 15, pro-choice activists and women’s health advocates will convene a March for Abortion Rights across the street from Federal Plaza at Dearborn and Jackson, as a counter to the March for Life that’s meeting in the plaza the same day. That night, abortion-rights witness movement #ShoutYourAbortion will throw a fund-raiser at Gman Tavern hosted by comedian Sarah “Squirm” Sherman and featuring DJs such as Rabble Rabble‘s Matt Ciarleglio and Absolutely Not keyboardist Madison Moore....

Last week, on my way to a trial to decide what the British should do with the Parthenon Marbles they stole—er, took—from Greece, I made a short detour for a look at some treasures they stole from Benin. The trial—a mock event about an actual, raging cultural dispute—was produced by the National Hellenic Museum, which, yes, has some skin in the game. Over time, though, the Marbles had been damaged, especially during the four centuries, beginning in 1453, when Greece was ruled by the Ottoman Empire—and particularly during a 17th-century Turkish war with Venice, when the Parthenon was the target of a massive cannonball attack....

Portraying Billie Holiday, arguably the most iconic jazz vocalist of the last century, is well-traveled territory, posing a potential trap for dusty cliches. Yet Alexis J. Roston paints a vibrant portrait of the legendary tragic chanteuse in Congo Square Theatre’s revival of Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill. Director Shanèsia Davis perfectly cultivates the mood of a smoky jazz joint to tell the story of a fallen star who once graced the stage of Carnegie Hall, now an ex-jailbird reduced to playing dives....

Last August at Northwestern’s Block Museum of Art, a pipe connected to the sprinkler system burst, showering the main gallery. No art was harmed in the deluge, but the building, designed by Dirk Lohan, sustained enough water damage to require it to reschedule its fall exhibit, “Steichen/Warhol: Picturing Fame,” and close its doors till the end of the year. Director Lisa Graziose Corrin (who once commissioned an installation titled Drowned in a Glass of Water) assured the public that the Block would “sparkle” when it resurfaced, and in January the museum did just that, reopening with not only the Steichen/Warhol exhibit but a redesigned, more inviting lobby space (previously planned) and a second major show, “The Left Front: Radical Art in the ‘Red Decade,’ 1929-1940,” which ran through June 22....

Forgotten Chicago facebook.com/groups/forgottenchicago Runner-Up Chicago Doodles

TJ Medel and Terrence “T-Baby” Carey first performed as the improv group Preach in March 2016. The two comics met at iO, bonded over their spoken-word backgrounds, and decided to incorporate the art form into an experimental show—the audience makes a suggestion, Carey and Medel turn it into a slam poem, and then transform the poem into a performance. The format was immediately successful, and since then the group has grown from two to seven members and has appeared at comedy venues all across the city....

QI’m a 34-year-old straight female. I am morbidly obese and have been for most of my life. I have never dated. I’ve been on a couple of dates and only when I asked the guy out. From reading your columns and books, I am aware that some men are attracted to fat women. But since I never received any real sexual attention as a teen/twentysomething, I don’t know how to deal with men in a sexual way or in a way that would develop into a relationship....

Courtesy Wikicommons Josh Reddick loves Wham! Reader staffers share stories that fascinate, amuse, or inspire us. • This partial list of genera native to early 21st century North American coffee shops? —Aimee Levitt